A Happy Birthday and a Goodbye....

This was supposed to be a happy day.

We came back from our wonderful vacation yesterday afternoon and our suitcases were filled with so much sweet memories and happiness. Our long awaited and so needed time for Sascha, Cassian and me while the older kids had a great time with my inlaws.... It was such an amazing trip and I made many pics and wanted to post them here as soon as we came back home....

But when we arrived it took us five seconds to realize that we had to call our vet to make a final decision. Our beloved sixteen year old cat was already in a very bad condition when we left. We had figured out that her kidneys were almost not working anymore and tried everything that made any sense. During our vacation our vet did an intravenous drip therapy but while it helped it was simply not enough. I have studied veterinary medicine as well so when we saw our cat there was simply no doubt what we had to do. We probably could have waited one or maybe a few more days but when you have a pet you have to do what is best for it – and waiting longer just because we were not ready was no solution for us. And yes – it is harder when it comes to your own pets.... definitely....

I’m still grateful that our own vet was so kind to wait for us last evening. So we didn't have to hurry when we took Samtpfote in and there was no fear or stress for her at all. Later we took our cat back home and Sascha found a nice place for her in our large backyard before he picked up the older kids from my inlaws....

For many people it may sound silly because it was "just a cat". But our cat was so much for us. We found her and her siblings when they were between one and two weeks old and bottle fed them all. When they got older we kept her and her brother and found a nice place for her sister. One year later we got another little kitten that we bottle fed as well. Our male cat died a few years ago when he was around twelve years old, our other cat when she was around 14.... Both times it was hard but this time it was so much worse. She was like our first child and the kids knew her from their first days in live. For 16 wonderful years she was part of our family and we already miss her so much....

Being a professional doesn’t help at all in this case and while my head knows that we did the right decision for her my heart breaks....

Today is Cassian’s second Birthday and we had so many plans for this special day.... Plans that included so much fun and of course a big cake that we usually bake....

We skipped the baking part and just bought a chocolate cake. Cassian has a lot of fun so far and the rest of the family struggles between laughing and crying....

Having our big family helps a lot and it is interesting to see how every kid handles this situation differently. But everybody knows that we are here for each other and so we spend this day with many hugs, kisses, snuggles, some tears and a few smiles....

We are incredibly grateful to have each other.... but one part that brought so much fun in our lives is missing and that hurts....

I will try to upload the vacation and wrapping pics and reviews in the next few days.... today I just can’t do it....